The L.A. Times’ Chris Erskine has written a humorous article sure to resonate with any of us who have ever coached a youth sports team of any kind. In this piece he imagines the emails sent from coach to parents as the season goes on. Below is a snippet:

Some of you have been inquiring about our team’s prospects for the coming season. Well, our shortstop weighs less than my wristwatch, and our first baseman might be a chimpanzee. Our catcher looks to be made entirely of Band-Aids, and our star pitcher will miss every game because of conflicts with soccer, swimming, lacrosse, taekwondo, Mandarin lessons and ballroom dancing.

Other than that, we look like the ’27 Yankees.